Good men, like great sex and comfortable heels, can be almost impossible to find. In the bustling metropolis known as Manhattan, women are plagued with the classic case of quantity over quality, where there’s a plethora of men at their fingertips and none worthy of gripping onto.
By the first sentence, text or Instagram post, we usually know exactly what he’s like, and the odds that he’s a charming, nice sweet guy are slim to none.
We wait for the inevitable moment when his true colors are shown, his motives revealed and that nice guy exterior sheds to nothing more than the raw skin and bones of a true assh*le.
Like prey in the wild, we’ve learned to adapt to our surroundings and protect ourselves against the attack of assh*les, douchebags and playboys. We’ve learned to read the signs, mark the places to avoid and pick up on the traps that are carefully deployed and once so naively walked upon.
We know how to spot danger from a simple whiff of cologne and read through pickup lines like a dog hunting a scent. We are stronger than ever before and we will not be tricked again.
However, like an animal that’s been abused for too long, we have a hard time trusting when someone good does come along. We are quick to bite any hand that tries to touch us and run away at the slightest movement. We are scarred and bruised, depleted of our energy and all faith in humanity.
We are guarded, usually to point that we will tear apart anything that comes remotely close. While this evolutionary defense mechanism will help keep us safe from all those assh*les and womanizers out there, they are also keeping us away from the good ones.
The ones who aren’t there to hurt us, but to show us the love and appreciation we so yearn for. They are there to be our equals, our partners and, for the romantics out there, our Prince Charmings.
We have a hard time spotting the good because we’re always looking for the bad. We’re so quick to classify, quantify and categorize a man under one stigmatized label that we don’t give him a chance to prove himself outside of the group.
But if you’ve stumbled across a good guy, you’ve found more than just a man. You’ve found a gentleman. You’ve found those perfect heels, that mind-blowing sex and just about everything else you’ve been looking for.
So for all the women who are seeing, dating or thinking about a man, here are the telltale signs he really is a good guy and not just an assh*le in hiding.